Think that learning how to be good in bed is about memorizing the kama sutra? That’s not the case. With confidence anyone can shake that headboard!

All of us want to know how to be good in bed. You obviously want to make your partner clutch their hair in ecstatic orgasms and roll over in bed, gasping for air after you’re done with your deed. Of course, learning how to be good in bed is great, both for your partner and your ego!
But understanding how to be good in bed isn’t just about rehearsing sex positions or bending over backward to try new moves that you read in a book.
To have a good time in bed, you need to remember that you have a partner who needs to be satisfied, and at the same time, you need to satisfy yourself too.
Good sex isn’t just about the to and fro, it’s also about the energy, passion, the sexual aura, and the vibes that both of you create around each other. If both of you feel sexy and passionate as individuals and towards the other person, the sex is almost always going to be awesome!
[Read: How to prepare for sex – 20 things you MUST do to enjoy it way more]
Leave your inhibitions at the door
Most people fear that they’re not going to satisfy anyone in bed and, quite honestly, that can make them worse! We all want to be the person that leaves their significant other in awe after getting it on.
Being great in bed isn’t just for the benefit of your lover either. It can make you feel ridiculously powerful to be the reason they roll over, gasping for air, and don’t want to move for hours on end because they’re blissfully sore. It’s a huge confidence boost!
Being great in bed isn’t just about having the best moves or being able to last the longest. Actually, it’s about so much more than that.
It can boost your confidence and make you feel great in every aspect of your life. But, the first step to being amazing between the sheet is to leave your inhibitions at the door and have the bravery to just go for it! [Read: How to be more sexual and fall in love with the sexy side of you]
How to be good in bed every single time
The good news is that you don’t need to take up yoga and learn back-breaking sex positions. You don’t even have to moan like a pornstar. There are many subtle and regular things you can do to learn how to be good in bed. Then, you’ll no doubt find that your relationship blossoms as you can’t get enough of one another.
Never underestimate the power of sex in a relationship. It’s not just about the physical. Relationships need intimacy outside of the bedroom for sure, but what goes on inside the bedroom also helps to bond a couple together.
Here are a few things you can do in bed to make your partner climax better and make your ego feel a lot better too! [Read: How to look sexy when you’re naked – The real-life tips that actually work]
1. Make an effort to look good when you go into the bedroom
Wear your best nightwear when you get into bed. It’s easier to wear an old tee shirt and frayed pants, but that’s never going to create the same impact as sexy negligee, would it?
Dress in comfortable lingerie or boxers that enhance your sexiness and make you look good. Of course, when you look good, you feel good too and that’s a huge part of learning how to be good in bed.
Arousal starts with the eyes, so work on your magic by looking good for your partner. And always remember this, the better you look when you’re on the verge of having sex, the more the anticipation and excitement will be! [Read: Sexy bedroom – 24 sex room ideas to make any room look and feel sexy]
2. Focus on feeling sexy first
Do you like your own body enough to let your hands linger on yourself now and then?
When you like the way you look and feel sexy from within, you’d enjoy yourself a lot more when you’re having sex, and so will your partner. Lovemaking involves two people, so when you feel uncomfortable or awkward about your own body, your partner wouldn’t feel excited too.
People don’t have bad sex because they can’t get wet or get an erection. They have bad sex when the sexual vibes don’t feel right. If you feel sexy and attractive, you’d enjoy the fact that someone else can get to see the sexy you! [Read: How to be sexy, feel sexy and look sexy without even trying too hard]
3. Remember that sex is natural and made to be enjoyed
Sex is natural and not something you need to feel uncomfortable about. Most of us are constantly reminded throughout our childhood that sex is a bad thing. But now that you’re all grown up, you need to get over all the negativity you have about sex. Sex is a natural and exciting act that’s meant to be enjoyed.
Sex is something that can get better with time, just as long as you’re willing to give it enough time and attention to understand what works and what doesn’t, just like healthy eating habits or a productive daily routine.
To be good in bed, you need to learn more about sex, your body, and your lover’s body. Take time to understand what works and what doesn’t and use it to your benefit. When you’re confident about what you’re doing in bed, you’re definitely going to be great at it too. [Read: 20 mind tricks to make sex way better and enjoy it like never before]
4. Learn to be amazing at foreplay
Women love foreplay, men don’t really care much about it. But that doesn’t mean you or your partner should compromise just to satisfy each other. You should understand that sex isn’t about compromising. It’s about indulging in something that’ll excite both of you.
If you’re the woman, dress up for sex or put on some sexy lingerie. Your man will obviously take his time undressing you, especially when you look so good in what you’re wearing. And as his hands and lips trace your lingerie, he’s going to spend a while teasing your body and running his hands all over. [Read: How to dress for sex – How to look sexier for your man and arouse him]
At other times, play an adult movie that stretches for more than twenty minutes. Slip your clothes off and cuddle up while watching it in bed. Within a few minutes, before either of you realize it, you’ll be indulging in foreplay and watching a great turn on movie at the same time!
He likes it, she likes it, and everybody likes it! Who says foreplay has to be compromised to satisfy a partner. Always look for ways to create happy experiences, instead of settling for a compromise. [Read: 29 movies with a lot of sex to get you both easily in the mood]
5. Don’t be afraid to try new things
If you want to know how to be good in bed, start exploring your sexual side. Each time you feel like the sex is starting to get monotonous, try something new to spice it back up.
There are so many things that couples do to keep the excitement up on a high, and each of them is as unique as the couple themselves.
Always remember that nothing is ever wrong in bed as long as the people involved enjoy it, and it doesn’t affect anyone else negatively. And you’ll never really know how good something is unless you try it. [Read: Top 50 mildly kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once in your lifetime]
6. Build and embrace your confidence
Confidence is just downright sexy. If you waltz into that room acting like you know exactly what you’re doing, it will convince your partner that you do and that they’re in for a good time.
Too many people get nervous and it shows in the way they have sex. Naturally, this leads to sex that feels awkward and is not as enjoyable as it could be.
Be confident and you’ll be good in bed every time. When you start to doubt yourself, push those thoughts away. You’ve got this! [Read: How to be a seductress in bed without behaving overly sexual]
7. You don’t need to be shy
Shy is never sexy when it comes to getting naked together. When you’re shy, you don’t have confidence, you don’t try new things, and you are honestly probably just holding back.
It might be intimidating having sex with someone for the first time, but just think about the fact that they want to be there with you. That should ease some shyness and give you a little confidence to make the event incredible. [Read: Having sex with someone new for the first time? The must-follow rules]
8. Pay attention to their likes and dislikes
Not everyone likes the same things. Some people like rougher sex while others really get off with soft, sensual touches. Pay attention to whether or not they’re reacting positively to something and then do it more!
If you really want to know what they like most, ask them!
Of course, do so in a sexy way by asking what they want you to do to them. This is almost guaranteeing that you’ll be amazing because they’re straight up telling you what they like. [Read: What men like in bed – 32 things they desire and deeply lust for]
9. Don’t just be amazing at foreplay, spend plenty of time on it
We can’t stress the importance of foreplay enough. You could be a master at everything else, but if you skip foreplay it’s just cutting down on your greatness level SO much.
Only a well-oiled machine works at top efficiency, right? So you need to get the juices flowing before getting to work.
Foreplay sets up sex and gets your partner in the right mood for accepting one heck of a fantastic night. NEVER skip it and always spend plenty of time on it. [Read: 18 sex tips for men to make her crave for a lot, lot more]
10. Cater to their specific needs
No one is the same when it comes to what feels good and what doesn’t. Some people *generally women* take much longer to finish than others. If this is true for your significant other, then you need to switch things up and cater to their needs first.
If they can only finish on top, then make sure that they’re in a top position most of the time—or at least toward the end of your sexcapades. Catering to their individual needs gives you an extra leg up on making sure you’re pleasing them perfectly.
11. Switch up positions
Boring sex is not good sex. And the only way sex can possibly be boring is if you never change positions. Different positions feel different for both people. Some people like certain ones more than others, too.
This means you need to switch things up if you really want to be the best and please them better than anyone else. Changing positions makes it exciting, adds pleasure, and makes you really good in bed every time. [Read: The 30 day sex challenge – 30 sexy positions for 30 nights]
12. Change the speed too
Not only is singular-position sex boring, but one-speed sex is almost just as boring. It may feel good to go as hard and fast as you can for a while, but sometimes, it’s just too much and you really need to take it down a notch.
Plus, going slow and then speeding up again really adds to the dynamic and puts in so many more sensations that wouldn’t even be felt if everything was one speed. So change it up a few times during your dirty deed.
13. Remember to communicate
Almost everyone forgets to talk during sex. Sure, discussing the weather might not be the best idea at that time, but talking about the sex you’re having is! Ask them if they like stuff. Tell them what you want them to do to you.
This opens up a door for you to not only learn what they like best, but also get some dirty talk in there to make things even sexier! [Read: How to talk dirty to your partner and sound really sexy]
14. Read their body language
Body language gives away a truckload of information during sex. You really need to understand what means good and what means bad. Read that body language and respond accordingly and you’ll be great in bed every time.
15. Go on, take charge!
Someone who knows what they want and tells you what to do to get it is hot. Take charge in the bedroom. Tell them what you want them to do. Demand them to sit still, not touch you at all, or dare them to not make a sound for a certain amount of time.
Obviously, keep things in the realm of what the two of you are comfortable with, but definitely be demanding. It’ll make everything that much more intense and hot. [Read: 13 untold sex secrets you really have to know]
16. Make it last
Unless you only have five minutes before work and have to get a quickie in, make the sex last a reasonably long amount of time! We’re pretty sure there isn’t anyone out there who would complain about sex lasting too long. Longer pleasure = better pleasure. [Read: How long should sex really last? The real score on time]
17. Ask for feedback
After the deed is done and you’ve both had time to return to your normal breathing rate, ask them how they liked it! Don’t probe for too much information, but do ask them if they liked certain things better than others. It’ll give you material to work off of for next time!
18. Remember that practice makes perfect
The more you have sex with someone, the more you’ll get to know what they like personally, and the better you’ll be able to pleasure them. So get naked and practice!
[Read: 10 bad girl sex tricks and 6 bad boy sex tricks you need to have in your arsenal]
Understanding how to be good in bed can be simple, if you remember to create new experiences all the time and focus on your partner’s satisfaction at the same time.
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Sexual Foreplay: 26 Lusty Secrets to Do It Well & Make Them Hot & Horny
What is foreplay? How does it make sex more pleasurable? If you’re wondering how to foreplay before intercourse, here’s how to to kiss, lick and arouse!

Sex is fun and exciting, but if you try and go straight at it without warming up the oven first, it’s not going to be as mind-blowing as it could be! If you’re wondering ‘what is foreplay,’ that’s basically what it is – getting both of you revved up and ready to go before the main event!
For sure, there’s a lot to be said for a good, old quickie, but taking your time and learning how to foreplay properly will mean you both enjoy it so much more, and you’ll get a world of pleasure out of it. [Read: 20 most common sexual problems in a relationship that can easily be avoided]
So, what is foreplay exactly?
Lots of people wonder what is foreplay, but it’s really not all that complicated. It’s simply touching, licking, sucking, and caressing before sex.
Think of it like warming a car before driving it. We know, you really want to hit the gas pedal and go. But maybe it’s better to wait for the engine to warm up. You get what we mean?
Everyone can benefit from foreplay, but unfortunately, many people skip over it and assume it’s not as much fun as the rest of the sexual experience. The truth is, it can be more enjoyable if you know what to do! [Read: How to have sex appeal – Secrets to unleash your inner sexy beast]
Discovering foreplay can revive a dull sex life
You may not realize this, but sexual intimacy is just like romance.
It’s always heart-pumping at the beginning, until it runs out of steam and turns predictable and less-than-adrenalin-inducing over time.
And just like you rely on gestures and surprises in romance, you need to keep the excitement alive in bed too, by constantly turning the wheel of sexual passion. [Read: The untold sex secrets that can change your sex life forever!]
Foreplay is about sexually and mentally connecting with your partner *and exciting them*. After all, sex is the best when you have a connection under the sheets. Taking the time to feel your partner and heighten their senses is what makes the difference between sex and “oh my God, you have no idea what I did last night” sex. Aim for the latter.
If your sex life is lacking in passion, learning the art of foreplay could be all it takes to revive the fun of the honeymoon period!
Foreplay is for everyone!
Let’s be honest here, most guys could skip foreplay and report having just as much of a pleasurable sexual experience. Women, on the other hand, practically NEED it in order to have a good, satisfying time.
But, that doesn’t mean foreplay can’t benefit everyone.
For men, it’s a much less significant part of ensuring you get off during sex than it is for women. Foreplay is the part of sex that happens before the main event. But for women, it’s what puts them in the mood, gets all those important juices flowing, and is the key to making sure she orgasms. [Read: 12 underrated kinds of foreplay to bring some serious sizzle to bed]
Without foreplay, well, it’s like eating a hot dog in a bun without any condiments. It’s somewhat enjoyable, but would be a hundred times better all lubed up with delicious greatness.
While many people think foreplay has to do with being physical with your partner, it’s just as much about playing up the mood emotionally, too. Especially for women. While men tend to associate sex with physical touch, women associate it with touch AND feelings.
Now you know what is the meaning of foreplay, it’s time to give you some tips to do it the right way! [Read: 30 really sexy ways to spice up your sex life and leave you horny 24/7]
What is considered foreplay? Some passionate tips to get your engine revving!
Does the thought of foreplay in bed stress you out? Or do you wonder what you can do to stimulate your lover and experience the mad rush of passionate sex like a horny one-night stand?
Try these foreplay tips – they’ll explode your mind with sexual ideas and naughty thoughts every time you’re in bed with your partner. [Read: 10 ways to make long term sex feel like a one night stand instantly!]
1. Start outside the bedroom
Sex is predictable when it’s initiated within the walls of the bedroom all the time. Every now and then, initiate sex outside the bedroom. You don’t have to sit close and slip your hands into your lover’s shorts out of the blue. That might land you in trouble outdoors!
Instead, get closer *innocently* and sit down for a few minutes while watching the television together. Just stroke your lover’s hands or play with their fingers, and when you feel the tingle of love, kiss your partner or cozy up under a blanket.
Before you know it, both of you will be having spontaneous sex without even realizing it. [Read: Spontaneous sex – Why you need it and how to do it right]
2. Learn to kiss passionately
Those quick sparrow pecks of goodbye kisses may work while saying goodbye and rushing to office in the mornings. But in bed, that’s one of the biggest sexual turn offs.
Take your time. Even if you’ve kissed your lover a million times, a slow and sensual kiss can still feel just as intimate and sexy as a first kiss. Close your eyes, place your lips on your lover’s lips and play along, while moving your lips softly, slowly and purposefully.
Breathe into each other slowly, and just experience the sensation. After all, there is nothing that feels as sexy as a perfect kiss with a lover who knows to kiss you just the way you want to be kissed. [Read: 28 sensual, romantic secrets to kiss someone deeply and passionately]
3. Slowly explore their body
Don’t be in a hurry. As you kiss your lover, run your hands along their back or over their arms or shoulders. Penetration doesn’t have to be the only sexy thing you do in bed.
Gently kiss your partner’s neck, arms, and the rest of their body. If your partner moans or relaxes their body, they probably like what you’re doing.
Let your hands linger all over their body, but as you do that, close your eyes and run your lips over the rest of the body. Just experience the way your lover’s body feels against your lips. It’s sensual and arousing, and it’ll surely make both of you feel really horny! [Read: 20 hot sexy ideas to blow your lover’s mind in bed]
4. Dirty talk
This is one of the sexiest things you can do in bed. And the best part about dirty talking in bed is that it can help you talk about your darkest sexual fantasies without the fear of being judged by your lover.
It’ll bring both of you closer, make both of you feel more intimate, and it’ll open a new door of sexual bliss. [Read: 23 tips to dirty talk and say the sexiest things in bed]
You can talk dirty anywhere, in bed or even in the living room. Just talk about something naughty, be it a memory or a fantasy of yours. All it takes is a few sentences before both of you feel stiff around the loins! [Read: 50 dirty words and things to say to your lover and turn them on]
5. Use a mirror
It’s surprising just how many people find mirrors exciting and fun. Prop a long mirror horizontally on the bed, right next to the both of you. Get naked and play with each other’s bodies while watching each other in the mirror.
Just watching your partner getting stroked and teased in the mirror is a huge turn-on that’s definitely worth experiencing. And having sex while watching yourselves in the mirror? Well, that just gets even better!
6. Watch a sensual movie
Sometimes, the stress of foreplay can make sex feel awkward and forced. You know you have to indulge in foreplay, and your partner knows it too. And all the drama and the stress of foreplay can just make you dislike it. So try something else that’ll play the part of good foreplay.
Watch a sexy movie, with a plot that both of you will enjoy. Just slip under the blanket, watch the movie and run your hands against each other. And at some point during the movie, both of you would be more than ready to do the deed yourselves. [Read: The best foreplay tips that will always work on men]
7. Enact your fantasies
Foreplay is fun for both lovers only when both of you enjoy it. And if you’re not enjoying what you’re doing, you may end up hating foreplay and start avoiding sex just to skip the foreplay.
So try something that you know will excite you *and your lover at the same time*. Do you have a sexual fantasy that makes you feel horny each time you’re alone? Talk about it with your partner, or enact it with them.
It could be something sexually taboo, or a role playing idea, or something that you’ve always wanted to do in bed. Talk about it with your lover while stroking each other, and try it. [Read: Top 17 sexual fantasies for men and top 16 sexual fantasies for women]
8. Naughty games
There’s nothing like a bit of fun in bed to take the stress off sexual foreplay and make sex feel naughtier, kinkier and a lot sexier. Don’t focus on foreplay, and don’t think of sex. On a lazy afternoon or evening, just get into bed, and play a few dirty games.
Once you start enjoying these games, you’d want to play them every single day! [Read: 19 naughty foreplay sex games for couples to feel horny in minutes!]
9. Focus on your partner
You need to focus your attention away from your own body and focus it on your partner. If they’re focusing on you, well, then it’s a perfect blend. You’ll both be trying to arouse each other, and well, that can only lead to a positive outcome.
10. Don’t rush the clock
When it comes to understanding what is foreplay, you need to remember that it isn’t a race. You’re going to have sex, don’t worry. But there’s no point rushing foreplay.
Remember, you’re warming up a car. If you drive it too soon when the engine is still cold, it’s not going to run well. Take your time and enjoy the moment.
11. Make out… high school style
Everyone loves making out, especially women. So, whether you’re a man or woman, take advantage of a good make out session. It can take you a long way. Plus, you’re more likely to become even more aroused while making out, so, it’s a win-win situation. [Read: 17 foreplay moves and ideas to leave any girl wet and waiting]
12. Ask what turns them on
If you’re not sure if what you’re doing is working, just ask them. Ask them what turns them on. Trust us, they’re horny, so they’re going to tell you. All you need to do is listen.
If you can do that, well, then you’ll be fine with following instructions.
13. Don’t just get handsy, use your tongue too
Don’t forget to use that beautiful tongue of yours. Use it while making out, during oral sex, while they’re kissing your body, while you’re caressing theirs.
You can use your tongue at almost any moment, and if you pick a sensitive area *like the earlobes*, it’ll hit their nerve endings and make them even more aroused. [Read: Secret pleasure triggers to arouse any woman instantly]
14. Grind it up!
You don’t necessarily have to stimulate yourself or them. You can grind against your partner, and that’ll work just as well. It’s also great if you have some music going on in the background.
If you have some rhythm, sync your grind along with the song. It’s hot. You can try straddling them and grinding, that’s usually a great way to stimulate your partner. [Read: The sexy, discreet secrets to grind up against a guy and leave him cumming]
15. Remove one of the five senses
As you already know, humans have five senses. However, when one sense is restricted, the other senses heighten.
Blindfold your partner or tie up their hands, preventing them from using that sense. By restricting them and that sense, you arouse them and also open their other senses – a double whammy. [Read: Foreplay done right – the art of really turning her on]
16. Try a sensual massage
Your goal is not to put your partner to sleep, but rather, your goal is to get them horny. If you’re too massage-focused, you’ll turn into a day spa, and that’s not the goal here.
Try to hit the areas that will turn your partner on. So, we’re talking about the mid-to-lower back, arms, shoulders, and inner thighs.
17. Slowly undress your partner
But do it nice and slow. Be sensual with it. You may not even think of it, but undressing someone can be highly arousing if you do it slowly and passionately.
Feel their body with your fingers as you take off their shirt and pants. You’ll get them naked eventually, don’t worry, so just enjoy it.
18. Oral sex
Oral sex is a pretty big component of foreplay. You don’t have to have oral sex, however, it usually leads to sex anyways.
Don’t be shy to go down on your girl or give your man a blowjob. Tease them by almost reaching the point where they come and then pull back… they’ll go nuts. [Read: 25 hot ways to make a guy go down on you and signs to know for sure if he likes it]
19. Try mutual masturbation
We know you probably masturbate on your own, but why not do it with your partner? It’s a great way to arouse yourself and your partner while watching each other masturbate.
Face each other and look at each other’s faces while touching yourselves. [Read: How to use mutual masturbation as foreplay and connect without touching]
20. Bring in the toys
This is when you bring out the sex toys. Of course, you can bring them out during sex too, but this is a great opportunity to test things out and see what turns your partner on or off.
Dildos, vibrators, strap-ons, handcuffs – there’s an endless supply of toys to play with. [Read: 13 must-have couples’ sex toys for naughty first-timers]
21. Stimulate ALL their senses
Touch isn’t the only sense that we have, right? So why do people only assume that just touching gets things to where they need to be? You have to stimulate ALL of a person’s senses in order to put their nerves on edge.
Light some delicious smelling candles, turn the lights down low, and put on some slow and sensual music. Then, focus on making them feel good through touch. [Read: 30 hot sexting to start a naughty texting marathon]
22. Use your voice
We respond to voice like you wouldn’t believe. Get your voice low, right next to their ear, and whisper something sexy and erotic to get their imagination spinning.
Better yet, use your voice to ask them what they want from you in a husky tone. Doing so not only makes them feel your hot breath tickle the inside of their ear, but they’ll just tell you what they want. It’s a win, win!
23. Hit those ultra-sensitive spots
Like we mentioned before, there are a ton of other sensitive spots on a person’s body that they feel sexual pleasure from, not just the genitals. The neck, collarbone, ears, inner thighs, and even some people’s feet.
Make sure you’re not forgetting about all of these during foreplay. Our advice is to make a list in your head and work your way up or down, starting in one spot. [Read: The sexiest hot spots to kiss a woman and arouse her]
24. Pull their hair – gently
The funny thing about causing someone a small amount of pain when they’re sexually stimulated is that it actually increases their pleasure drastically. When someone feels pain, their body releases feel-good hormones that—when your body is already flooded with those—only make the pain feel that much better.
Just make sure you’re not actually hurting them and that they enjoy that type of foreplay. Some people might find it a little too much for their taste.
25. Tease them on and off
Increasing someone’s anticipation and playing tug of war with their pleasure is a great technique for foreplay.
By giving them what they want and then drawing back, you increase their desire for it. So be a HUGE tease during foreplay. [Read: How to amp up the pleasure – 11 things that make you horny]
26. Pay attention to their body language and adjust accordingly
Body language gives away pretty much everything you need to know about whether or not someone is enjoying what you’re doing. If they’re being loud, arching their back, and breathing heavily, you’re moving in the right direction.
Rev up that engine and start purring!
Foreplay is enjoyable on its own, but it certainly leads to much hotter sex than if you skipped it altogether. These useful tips will give you a great starting position and from there, you can experiment and find out what you and your partner both enjoy.
[Read: 15 ways to tongue kiss and arouse your date in seconds]
Now that you know what is foreplay, use these sexual foreplay tips the next time you’re in bed and you’ll realize how amazing sex can really be!
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